M O T H E R B L O O D

Cecilia Bustamante

1995

This collection has been translated into German by Prof. Wolfgang Karrer of the University of Osnabrück where it was approved recently by a university committee for publication in the prestigious series Osnabrück Bilingual Editions of Marginalised Authors.



Life force

	Find my heart, the rest is with you.
	Watch the landscape in fire,
	the sacred objects in a circle
	of bread and wine.
	they must remember your calling
	and the first journey
	of the ancient blood.
	Find my heart in the golden day
	tied like a secret
	to the strings of fire.
	this is the center of the fifth direction,
	vanishing hunters of the magic deer.
	The arrow opens to all seasons
	connects with my heart,
	binding with the smallest of us.
	I see you in my pilgrim soul.

	Growing old in the mirror
	the world goes on.


*


Visit 1

	The rare bird remarkably posed
	in the shadows'  relief.
	Designs of You and I -
	intermediaries
	of precious remains
	freestanding on sacred ground.

	Cruising this stanza
	phases of lifelike moon
	in action, besieging a form
	of need and fate

	extremely loved.

*


Vaguely

	Do you remember her?
	She had a child, next to nothing.
	And a fallen tree looking at the air
	frozen treasure.
	Its white circles as windows
	to be split.  Who is so evil?

	My blood father, my mother's blood...
	Offering her nipple to the one who is killed.
	Their Christian daughter running in the fields.
	The rain is still falling on many trees,
	stroking sad music with its fingers,
	drying out within the earth.

	The fatherland.
	My mother's breasts closing the door.
	Please, wait for me.  Pull me up.
	I want to follow you to the hatred-torn,
	enshrouded, pervasive, haunted,
	stark,
 timeless terror -
	to briefly find each other
	in the land we were born in.
	No escape.

*


Sketching

	Shining or dwelling in darkness
	the Way detailed an etching, eccentric
	image sought and dimmed,
	tangled, tumultuous, retroactive.
	Nocturnal senses, coveted as a name
	taken from our dreams.

	Densely listening, dissolving
	at an early hour, come
	the first versions of soft landscapes.
	At the end, is the specter
	of our figurations, depicting more
	illuminations
	with that sort of feeling.

	Human feelings of the human existence,
 	worthy bucolic references
	of obscure  stories, prized elements
	at the eerie twilight along the way.

*



Remembrance



	Your skin like a melody
	falling asleep.
	The world
	in the shape of your head,
	a kiss, a tear, down your hair.
	Don't be childish
	be my friend blotched with desire,
	somber cry on top of the hills,
	knocking the door of night.

	Would you die for me?
	No. I have killed you,
	but dance, dance.
	It's only a set up.   Once upon a time...

	I'm sorry if the curtain falls,
	quitting early.  Who will lock up?

*















Mutis


	Cannot even think,
	close to the womb
	doesn't know how to walk,
	have nothing to lose.

	Going away, quitting alone
	quietly
	in the common theater
	being what we are.

	Cannot walk,
	not stand up anymore -
	for so many roles
	becoming,
	floating downstream.


*




Floaters


	Memories
	breathing from the original source.
	Vivid, heroic, poetic passions,
	fables that have been
	a major work thoroughly complete.
	Master memories,
	neglected memories.
	Floating in the hourglass.

*




The one who died
young

	Her fiberglass window
	shows the face of a tragic woman
	briefly
 glowing in her chord
	inside the circling grid.
	Perforated, wrapped phases
	of the journey within,
	reworking her uneasy waning shadows,
	her essential nature, the emphasis
	on its light alternative frontiers.
	Detached, she doesn't settle.
	This witness of her life, her dissatisfaction
	at zero degrees, weaving, threading,
	knotting, tangling the long bloodlink,
	stained prophetic sheets, stroked flags
	of the neverland.

	Sporadic couples move
	amber elements, anxious lines,
	conflicting, insidious demands.
	So many things...for a sense of being,
	a sense of self, our own compulsive pursuit.
	A very difficult kind of connection.

	As it were the last summer of life
	hanging at the outset of dawn.

*




Dreaming


	The use of poetry
	can become a dry point
	element
	revolving
	in the abrasive center.
	Ever increasing
	perceptions,
	breaking apart, incorporating,
	evoking, reinventing
	a fire integrating
	ashes, signaling
	in alphabetical order
	the open stage of time.

*

Dream in
gray

	In a Lake of gelatin and silver,
	in a darkroom, passion develops out,
	framed
	for subsequent models.

	Drawn from the River
	quicksilver painterly cropping its work.

	A medium, like years of wool
	in the darkroom
	lies, an alchemist out of print.
	Captivated
	in subtle platinum surface,
	absorbing its texture
	with fascination.

	The strong presence of Day's
	fully perfected Return
	intensified by fidelity
	for the sake of
nothing else.

*


Rebecca

	The old ship trunk opens its shell
	over the frozen lakes of Europe.
 	You sled
	expatriated by forza del destino.
	Passion flower of the tropics
	floating across the Atlantic,
	leaving your heart in Lima.
	Leaning your beauty in October,
	among its magenta flowers,
	you lit the frankincense
	clouding the colonial balconies.

	The bullfighter running
	through the fruity fields
	of the haciendas , tientas  of aspiring toreros.
	Lord of Tremors,
marching on.
	Woman of incredible treasures,
	like in Hugo or
Vizconti.
	All her life loving, like in a film.
	yearning, crawling under
grandmother's table
	one afternoon, your secret on her lap.
	Bore all those
kids, handsome and gentle,
	those who die young.  In some season
	I
remember your screams
	like poisoned clouds,
	your teenager's hysterical
love.
	All in great silence yet
	resounding in my
mind.

*







Gedicht

	Enchantement no. 1, melodie
	Poesie en
si bemol, en re bemol,
	en re naturel pour touts pays.
	Melodie sans texte.
 Lied.

	Una litografia
	de Paris sin titulo, llena de nubes
	y
jardines
	de magicas mujeres puro fin de siglo,
	los rostros en el
horizonte embrujados.

	Oh, "Werther" wants to be read,
	so you can rework
the opus magna,
	start leaping with all your fingers
	homeward, returning
to our words.

*













Visiting the
relatives

	Picking up my cafe au lait
	I rather taste some
afternoon
	when you poured into my memory
	among the orange trees.
	You
were young, we were kids.
	Your sister the artist, arranged
	the
outdoors
	with the strangest fruits.
	I feel her lonely fingers
	and the
shining A in filigree.
	You all loved Segovia, Zabaleta,
	Trotsky, Rivera,
and Frida,
	Guayasamin, everybody -
	even your revolutionary lovers,
	who
owned you their lives.

	You catered as 5:00.  I was seduced
	by the
general beauty.
	In silence I felt this poem
	forming in my heart.
	I
fiercely tried to keep the feeling
	of those shadowed eyes,
	knowing that
some day
	you would come back
	for this moment of your life.
	like today,
when your picture
	looks at me like then,
	under the cool air of the
mines,
	smiling tender and familial
	with all my dead relatives  in
Peru.

*





Intersection


	The eyes listen
	cumulations of the
past,
	ascending fiercely in the heart.

	Light is heard
	radiating from
its flame,
	fusing memories and legends of desire,
	drawing us to the
bottom,
	speaking of miracles and the sun.

	Centering laws of the
mind,
	invincible reflection
	of the heart narrowly escaping
	the foreseen
intersection.

*

















Stigmata

	Against
the sky, against the wall,
	somebody has broken my legs, somebody is
	in
the isolated roads, beware.  It happens fast.
	Beneath Greco skies  alarms
go off
	in the Gates of Hell.

	My senile psychopath teacher
	bending on
the books
	lies open, knowing nothing
	but the history of the paving
stones.
	Wouldn't be possible to hide
	in these muddy streets
	so the
flowers will go wild?
	A voice is just asking something
	when the sirens go
off, the fire bellowing
	high.

	Run, run.  Let me into the burning
fire
	of my fatherland.  Bastards like leaves
	are trembling, since your
mother died.
	When is fall coming? It is only winter here.
	Where would we
all go?
/











	I'll tell you someday where I'm
going.
	Remember.  The bastards on the avant garde,
	the rear garde,
shooting at our flanks.
	What can one person do?
	Break-in growing tall,
quivering, getting away,
	crying? I wish I could help.

	Stigmata in the
body of my land,
	running down my final tears.  Father, do not cry.
	We
have no heart to.  Don't.

*





Reparations
		the sheep's
skin...

	These are some of the things I never should
	never ever
talk,
	not even remember.
	Secrets that come afloat with insomnia.
	I hold
my son's sleeping hand,
	his warm nothingness, safely dreaming
	of the
moment when I conceived him
	that I love so.

	Memory releasing
associations.
	I was with child, the other son that died.
	Visiting a
church on Dwight Street,
	there was a rapist from which I
learned
	colloquial, double meaning of the word relief.
	I cannot ever,
never forget words,
	place, year, hour, the dress  I wore
	in the hay of
night,
	whirling, ebbing, towards your old man -
	his old slippery hand on
my breasts,
	my howling soul trapped between
	your lascivious
brother,
	looking at my pregnant belly.
	You offered me to your beloved
friend,
	Eskimo woman, polar nights.
	Your so many other pinpointing
ways
	selectively addressing what, where, how to
	better rape the dreams,
the mind in isolation.
	/








	"What do you want, do you
love,
	do you like, where are your thoughts,
	how is your skin so
transparent, why your eyes...?
	I suspect what you are hiding,
	evading
from my long hateful hate,
	forbidden from you to learn who gave it to
me
	to transfer, to transfer, force, force through...
	Forgive my rage, my
violence, my desire.
	I cannot find the moment of my birth,
	you could well
be my mother, my father,
	some beginning - my raping, void birth,
	you well
could be one of the ways I must follow
	to find myself.  My...self.
	I
pray, I command, let me rape your everything!
	It is me who is at stake.
 Me...mee...meeee
	Meeeee...eee.
Meeeeee."

*
















Paperwork




	Revealing
the whole life
	somebody was born
	to write preludes interruptus,
	hanging
installations
	displayed in the Garden -
	eyes, identities,
	and book
covers in a trance.

*


















Deja
vu

	There is something about you...
	I knew it always,
	you'd do me
good.
	Warm and warmth,
	not a thing was heard,
	but undressed
black.

	Don't you want to be a smile,
	the sound of unrequited
love?
	Come through the screen of a cadenza,
	come along!

	Who are you,
someone I know?
	Striving and enduring such language,
	I wonder if you're
coming
	in such power as
	to accept being loved.
	Entanglement in
trust
	and landscapes of mystery,
	wait, wait, wait just a
while.


*













Some logic


	Seduction is what
seduces
	our elementary dynamic.
	Not opposing, but challenging
	without
desire.
	A response beyond reality.

	You are not, you don't oppose
	the
double presence,
	the lighting flash
	of your cosmogony
	confessing the
nature of the other,
	founded on these relations
	of
playfulness.



*



















Chromatic


	S
pace and sound
	patterns of melodic light
	poured in the caustic cup
	of
deconstruction,
	electrified pieces surfacing
	from mirror
textures.


*





















Scene



	In
the lounge she is dying young,
	seducing the fright,
	narrowing the end of
life,
	a long drag of everything
	coming too late.

	Summer is an exotic
time
	as is the rest of the seasons.
	With intensity Spring plans
	the
work done and undone,
	wondering who will watch over her.

	The play cries
out for a stage
	less dazzling, more compelling
design.




*
















Missing link


	No
lifetime can compass
	the hostile, precocious decay
	of energies
diverted
	in the play of arts and mind,
	blood breeding
	its mortal
brevity.

	And the lore of the tribe?
	hand it down, gather up
	our
heritage, alien ways
	to the Naked Nation
	of the Leaves of
Grass.







*













Assumed
identity



	Reflections
	monochromic subject
	expanding its
limits
	in a field of poppies
	forcing form and balance -
	some aleatory
chance
	in the air.

	Resistance and revelation
	blind of
subjectivity
	multiply names
	in the artist's mirror,
	in the quiet
flow
	of the twilight.




*












Hibakusha


	I
haven't seen Little Boy's  replica
	nor the paper money signed by the
crew.
	An ostensible lack of education:
	didn't visit museums on the atomic
bomb,
	haven't seen the nuclear things...
	Only the human proclivity to
disintegrate,
	to scatter and leave its glassy green
	radiating
forever.

	I revisited Hiroshima Mon Amour,
	retracted the gleaming
secrets,
	its unwavering intensity,
	fusion of dream and terror-

	at the
edge of the abyss
	flies the Enola
Gay.


*

















Faces and figures


	Seated
figure in the goldfish bowl,
	the blowing enamel of her face
	cooling in a
white insistent day.

	Brilliant dead bone hanging on the wall
	among the
accumulation of plexiglas,
	some shores, reclining figures
	remembering
untitled poems.  The ink,
	the canvas, the baroque disorder
	of a portrait,
an image of a tender body,
	her red nipples, the black hair of the
pubis.
	She sits under the sun, a blind stamp
	with full
margins,
	unframed against the
sky.


*















Piece for Man and
Woman


	Delirious interpretations of the rose,
	grow in a text.  A song
of virtues,
	a song of vices. Centaure Phallique
	shines against black.
 His arrow
	spelling polymorphic dances.

	Melting lacquer in the wind,
spirits
	of the paper, the breasts of mountains -
	calling, yearning for
the sea.
	Life Death is in human nature,
	all the rivers empty in la
mar.

	Pieces of aural silence,
	portraits of angels go around
	opening
and closing a book
	perforated by a blue monochrome.
	Life and Death
surviving in the pages.

*















Variety
story


	Individuals can be detected,
	their lines chartered,
	its
implications are pervasive,
	symbols of widespread necessity
	leaving a
disengaged trace,
	coherent failures, prosaic,
	can pose as blind
faith
	in the simple chart.

	Sometimes they culminate
	some utopian
view,
	or swept by adulteration,
	they drown in raptures,
dissonances,
	reversing from its lines
	in a continuous
dream.



*










Agent provocateur


	The troubled
life of the artistes maudites
	its romantic emphasis,
	fascinating
fiction
	with its vices and virtues,
	 a psychic event.
	The natural
perversity
	of some reluctant nymph
	remains
	reckless in the
night,
	ardent albeit her veils.

	Her extravagant
palpability
	grows
	distorting the muse it
touches.




*










The knife from Valencia


	The
knife from Valencia
	has disappeared
	after being with me for so
long,
	daily in remembrances
	its razor beats.
	It's gone,
	one
instrument less,
	steel bladed weapon
	persistently going over my
wounds
	in search for peace.  Taking pleasure
	in the warm blood of
life,
	the summers, winters, and oblivion.

	Good bye to the shores of
Valencia,
	holding hands with my children
	all/nothing they willed.
	Under
the sun a poem congeals.
	But Monet doesn't lend me a parasol,
	her other
life in sandy beaches
	where another fire brands the skin.
	Minute knives
opening spots
	so the voice of blood can be heard.

	This desire to arrive
in Valencia
	comes from my mother and her songs:
	get to see las mujeres
mas hermosas
	the wind, the willow, the market place,
	the bullfights
ring.
	Like a ghost, its white handle







	has gone off - such a
dancer
	attached to my life
	hoping to find some artery
	to swiftly
exorcise
	the weighty binding,
	its alien blood in the air,
	the staining
myth of its
sorcery.



*
























Confidence



	A letter in the month of January
	screams naked
	in contralto with
the past.
	The slow seed mechanic flutters
	in the unlikely shadow I
curtail.

	Who could guess its ardent augury
	at the core of
secrecy!
	Enclosed in its stealthy lines
	evasion is its real
seal.


*


























Est


	Go
ld, silver, lead, lie,
	insect brooding its scales
	into the exact
river
	of melancholy.
	Blinded and feeble
	shines the soul of a star
	in
its gilded aura.
	The rain rains
	silverplating the air.  Life
	riddle us
with its heavy bullet,
	howling, licking,
	forms of
love.
*













The two metals


	To steal a few
crumbs
	to the morning sun.

	To rob or be robbed,
	indifferent
	to the
vast plundering
	of a slight atom first -
	as Becquer used to say.
	Little
by little
	the heavy elements come
	until their bones are
shining.

	Moon, moon of Federico Garcia...
	The lovers are lost in misty
seas
	with fowls, felines, bipeds,
	getting bare
	of great part of the
soul,
	life here, life there,
	and who can live
	bleeding to
death.

	Even the air is taken away,
	all the water has been
swallowed,
	the water of the thirsty -
	as Bretch used to
say.


/










	To be dying is a refinement,
	decanted
delicacy.  Give time
	to time.  Someone should hold
	a banner to life
announcing
	that body and soul
	are to be robbed at slow fire.

	The yin
and yang contending
	its two
metals.

*



















Spider on the
Bed


	Since when
	do you spin your web,
	how long
	does her filigree
increase
	through the entanglement of days...

	Who knows for how
long
	from your secret hiding place
	invisible and sudden
	you saturate
us
	with prophetic venom.
	Who knows for how long
	your arabesque ambushes
us
	in the purring singsong
	of sleep.

	Metaphorical -
	trickle of
volatile dust.
	Who knows for how long
	her busting next,
	her creeping
brood
	crosses over my warm sheets...



*



Variations
		To
Garcia Lorca
	Today.  Inhuman day

	spare me your chalice,
	the constant
desire,
	while I visit
	the acid woods
	perforated by the moon.

	I come
across this pebble
	heavy with sorcery
	pretending to be the elusive
rose
	modulating frequencies of death.
	Why your fluttering,
	your
cry?

	Satined petals trim
	the somber river
	of such romance,
	the
uneasy shadow
	that rain is drinking up.
	Mint ripe in your teeth
	and a
sinister soot
	through the white eye of night.

	The beautiful gift
humming
	with melancholy blinded.
	Zigzagging to die, like you,
	briny day
graphicating
	fragrances with versed strategy
	and then to feel desire
	to
sleep, "sleep for a while,
	a while, a minute, a
century"

*







Moonlight



	Moon-moon,
	dissolve the
night,
	the seasons.
	With your fate of being
	a cold star.

	Venus has
become a dove
	of soot, one perfect desire,
	one form, a simple
letter
	that the birds devour.
	Hidden
	in the deep sea, the
sky.

*
















Dead on night


	Falcon's
head
	Luciferian star
	is a riddle,
	ambergris enigma
	cumulating tiny
silicones
	resisting the solar wind
	the pressure of fire.
	Secrets
said
	at the risk of death.

	The deep vein is bleeding
	consuming
ephemeral moss
	archaic realms vertebrating
	its gleam, oviform,.
growing
	ancient shields,
	in desirable azures
	blastodermic seas
	knit
in light membranes
	illuminating nuclei in love,
	veins of lateral
whiteness
	on anonymous pelvis,
	there it lives
	the winged eye
insatiable,
	where unsavory beings
	detain their nuptial
feathers.

*








A glance


	Lines of force
	reaching the
stars,
	they are real and hidden,
	scalped irrelevant.

	Its worth
comparable
	to the phasing of the moon,
	some center of
distribution
	closing gaps, spreading variations
	of recognizable
music
	of the
spheres.



*














Rains




	Thereafter,
only  retrospection
	lost in a composition trouvee.

	This miserable rainy
day I write
	of the grand pyramid of distress.
	Descending other entrances,
a line
	inflicts an automatic wound.

	Shuttled from the vaults of
deep,
	bathing in words of blood,
	a dim light, a link to the structure
-
	hazardously soaring its bladed wings.


*